Sometimes it comes out while you’re making dinner. Your child tells you what someone said about their body in the lunch line, or why they’ve stopped wearing a shirt they used to love. It can be hard to hear. You can start by saying, “I’m glad you told me. You didn’t do anything wrong. We’ll figure out what to do together.”
Find out where it’s happening
Give your child time to tell the story in their own words. Ask where the comments happen, who’s nearby, and which adult at school they’d feel comfortable going to. If they’re worried that speaking up will draw more attention, talk through how you can involve the school privately.
Share specific examples with a teacher or counsellor. If the comments happen in the gym change room, for instance, ask what the school can do there and who your child can go to if it happens again. Agree on when you’ll check in. Your child deserves to know the adults around them are following through. StopBullying.gov has a guide for supporting children who are bullied.
Help them get back to what they enjoy
Think about the parts of school your child misses. Maybe they used to play basketball at lunch or looked forward to art club. Ask what would make it easier to go back. Walking in with a friend or having a teacher check in might be a good first step. At home, give them room to talk about the rest of their day, too. Ask what they made in art or who made them laugh at lunch. They’re still the same kid with a whole life beyond what happened.
Where an undershirt can fit in
At Esteem Apparel, we’ve heard from parents whose sons felt more confident in their clothes with an Esteem undershirt underneath. Our compression undershirts are designed as a close-fitting layer under everyday clothes. For someone who wants that extra layer, feeling more at ease in a favourite T-shirt can make getting dressed one less thing to worry about. They can keep their reasons for wearing an undershirt private.
If your child says they feel like they have to wear an undershirt, ask what they’d choose if nobody were making comments. They might like a soft cotton undershirt, a roomier tee, or the outfit they already picked. If an older teen asks about compression, talk with their healthcare provider about whether it’s appropriate for them. Esteem undershirts are sized for adults, and our Sizing & Fit Guide explains how those sizes are measured.
Whatever they choose to wear tomorrow, keep checking in about how school feels. On a hard morning, it can help to hear you say it again. “I’m on your side, and I’ll keep helping.”
